Donald E Westlake

"Kelp has a plan, and John Dortmunder knows that means trouble. His friend Kelp is a jinx, and his schemes, no matter how well intentioned, tend to spiral quickly out of control. But this one, Kelp swears, is airtight. He read it in a book. In county lock-up for a traffic charge, Kelp came across a library of trashy novels by an author named Richard Stark. The hero is a thief named Parker whose plans, unlike Kelp and Dortmunder's, always work out....

Working night security at a museum, Mitch Tobin finds a dead man in his birthday suit When he first met Linda Campbell, Mitchell Tobin was nothing more to her than the man who had put her husband in jail. It took over a year for them to begin their affair, but once it started, it became intense-lasting right up to the day when Tobin shirked duty to see her, and his partner got killed as a result. Years later, on a penny-ante night security job, Tobin...

When sixteen copies of a famous Aztec statue arrive in New York, men will die to find out which one is the real thing A small South American republic has decided to capitalize on its national symbol: a prized gold statue of a dancing Aztec priest. The president asks a sculptor to make sixteen copies of it for sale abroad. The sculptor replaces the original with one of his fakes, and ships the real one to New York City for an under-the-table sale to...

To find a gay man's killer, Mitch Tobin looks to the stars Disgraced ex-cop Mitch Tobin is digging in his basement when he meets Ronald Cornell. A gay man from downtown Brooklyn whose partner was recently murdered, Cornell wants Tobin's assistance in an investigation that the NYPD has declared hopeless. Tobin sympathizes-he once lost a partner of his own, a fellow cop whose death he was partially responsible for-and asks how he can help. Cornell has...

Charlie Poole is a bum. His friends know it. His gangster uncle Al knows it. And Charlie himself knows it better than anyone. He's stuck with his meager lot, tending bar at his uncle's Brooklyn dive, picking up the occasional package . . . and being a bum. But when two mob hit men show up out of the blue and inform him that his breathing days are over, Charlie doesn't feel like a bum anymore. He feels like an extremely fast runner. Because not having...

For the sake of a distant cousin, Mitch Tobin takes on an impossible case On the outskirts of Greenwich Village, among a wasteland of warehouses and tenements, a group of young people are opening a coffee shop. They are idealistic, giddy, and beautiful-the picture of 1960s youth-but their optimism cannot last. When a corrupt detective comes around demanding regular bribes, one of the young hippies, Robin Kennely, asks for help from a distant relative,...

Having endured the seedy world of tabloid journalism at the Weekly Galaxy, ambitious reporter Sara Joslyn has finally moved on to Trend, a hip New York magazine. But news is news, and Sara is immediately sent to Branson, Missouri, the capital of wholesome entertainment, to cover a sensational celebrity trial. Embattled country music legend Ray Jones is accused of a brutal kidnapping and killing. Making-and mucking-matters worse, Sara's sleazy former...

An art collector hires Dortmunder to steal one of his own paintings It would take a miracle to keep Dortmunder out of jail. Though he cased the electronics store perfectly, the cops surprised him, turning up in the alley just as he was walking out the back door, a television in each hand. Already a two-time loser, without divine intervention he faces a long stretch inside. Then God sends J. Radcliffe Stonewiler, a celebrity lawyer who gets Dortmunder...

A ruse to bed a pair of twins quickly grows complicated Art doesn't mean to tell Liz Kerwin that he has a twin. He's on Fire Island, and she's so beautiful that he's willing to say anything for a chance at getting rid of her clothes. So when Liz mentions an identical twin sister, Art blurts out that he has a twin too. His name is Bart, he says, and describes the most boring man he can dream up. Liz thinks he would be perfect for her sister Betty....

At a mental institution, Mitch Tobin searches for a patient with a violent sense of humor Mitch Tobin is about to be committed. Since his abrupt dismissal from the NYPD, Tobin's nerves have been frayed, and if it wasn't for his work as a private detective, he might well be in need of actual psychiatric care. But during his stay at the Midway, a halfway house for those recovering from mental illness, he'll only be impersonating a patient while trying...